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When your IT VP starts speaking blasphemy:

"Team,
We all know what’s going on with the API. Next week we may see 6x order volumes.

We need to do everything possible to minimize the load on our prod database server.

Here are some guidelines we’re implementing immediately:

· I’m revoking most direct production SQL access. (even read only). You should be running analysis queries and data pulls out of the replication server anyway.
· No User Management activities are allowed between 9AM and 9PM EST. If you’re going to run a large amount of updates, please coordinate with a DBA to have someone monitoring.
· No checklist setup/maintenance activities are allowed at all. If this causes business impact please let me know.
· If you see are doing anything in [App Name] that’s running long, kill it and get a DBA involved.

Please keep the communication level high and stay vigilant in protecting our prod environment!"

RIP most of what I do at work.

Comments
  • 3
    basically it sounds like he expects you to pull up hackertyper and pretend to work.
  • 6
    I'm not sure I see what the problem is here. If you're a dev you shouldn't really be doing much of anything on the prod DB anyway...
  • 3
    10s speaking, for small companies it's acceptable to have everything done by the development team... DBA do help if it's a large scale database
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