Boss walks by my desk. Stops by the printer when coming back and brings me this.

Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!

some people would buy it 😄

Oh RLY? you want me to confirm my email address?

Shift+Tab - Ctl+a - Ctrl+c - Tab - Ctrl+v

Like a ninja...

could actually HEAR the knife swishing sounds there

One devs commit messages always starts with "Committing changes..."

Oh rly?!

Since I'm a rather new devrant user, does these kind of trolls happen here more frequently?

Other than that, i rly enjoy the posts here.

The only book a developer needs to read. 😈

The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...

R - retard
M - me

R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...

I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.

I wish this was not true.

When the last dev wrote code and you dared to read it....switch on a Boolean, what even is your life legacy dev?

"How to do x in React"
Is like "Turn piss into diamond".
Just because it's somehow possible.. do you rly want to work with piss?

Thanks fucking FUCK the second.
Why is this still happening

I don't even wear pants... in fact i don't even wear clothes.

Everyone is talking about devRant stickers, so, for whom are they given? Is that for elite devs only?XD )) 'Cause I'd like have one like that =} they are rly cool)

Am I the only one who doesn't understand apple card? Like really, it's just the worst pitch ever!

"Apple card. Made by apple. Not a bank" that's a REAL ad I saw today. Why would you trust APPLE more than an FDIC insured bank with decades or (in some select cases) CENTURIES of experience in finance?

"No more card numbers and CVV"
Cool. I get it. Card numbers get leaked and stolen. But that's why banks insure cards and reverse fradulant transactions. How an I'm supposed to use it on Amazon?! I'm sure they have an answer. Like maybe one time use generated cards. But they haven't advertised it yet, and that's a problem!

Why do they think people want this!? And even more so, because I've seen some people are excited: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT THIS?! why is apple trying to make everything?!

O RLY and their books.
And this was printed in 2015.
To be continued...

I just got a phone call from "Microsoft" because there are Trojans on my pc. The broken English (and the content of the call) told me that it was scam, but I wanted to have my fun, so I continued the call.

After I told them that I am on my Computer, I was forwarded to an "expert", and now the funny part starts 😁

Scammer: you have your keyboard in front of you??
Me: yes
S: you see the strg, control ctrl button on the bottom left
M: yes *rly?*
S: what button. Is next to it?
M: fn
S: ...
M: ... *XD*
S: and next to it?
M: that's the windows button
S: ok, press that button along with 'r'
M: ok
S: what do you see?
M: *telling him what I see on my GERMAN pc*
S: ok, type 'eventvwr' *spelling it like hell*
I did so. Just while this spelling I could have hit my head on the desk... It was hilarious

He navigates me to the error and warnings and tells me that those are Trojans 😂 and that this is the reason some programs (especially my antivirus software) aren't running properly.

Well I told him that those aren't Trojans and that all my programs are running properly. I don't know if that was the reason, he stopped the call, but I wasn't able to connect to their 'headserver'.

In the end I am sad that I wasn't able to f*ck him up more. Maybe I would have been able to get some more information about their company to kick their *****.

Next time I will be (more) prepared

Fucking apple & Mac OS..

So.. Before high sierra, you could create a USB using boot camp.
All good & dandy without too much fuss.

No longer. instead it automatically mounts & copies the os onto a apfs partition(?) and without as much as a mention or warning it just reboots immediately when it's done.

Srsly, not even a silly "hey, we need to reboot"..

Now, I could probably have gone to diskutil, formatted, set the boot flags and copied the files..
But rly, Nvm that.
Besides I might actually find some use in a windows install.

So needing to install windows to create an USB is acceptable.

But Bloody hell, it's been a while since I've been in this triggered from something..

T_T no warnings, just force reboot into windows.

ÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄ!!!
I'm so thrilled!! I am not a GUI person & I am rly rly slow & bad when it comes to minor changes on that part..
But today I finally finished GUI, client logic, server side logic & db shiiit for some audit interface I was making.. ..from scratch, meaning it wasn't some changese here & there, no copy pasta no nothin.. I did the whole thing by myself..did a lot of things for the first time & it didn't take me ages!! Wiiiiii!!! Having a total 'I iz so proud of myself' moment!! // I usually am not the boasting/confident/happy with myself type..

!dev

So one of our project allows paying in money in different currenceis, and we have few bank accounts that are "outter shell" that are monitored and properly titled wire transfer will work for paying in for certain customer. Simple. So far.

We also have +- 20-30 different bank accounts for different purposes, I dont rly know why. Im just a programmer here. Anyway, I have no idea how and why but apparently one of our partners somehow put his hands on list of our bank acc's. Welp, i should be allright, what can possibly go wronggg.... wait... what?

He had this brilliant idea to streamline more process of "go to app, press button, you will be presented with proper bank acc for you". So he did. He sent mass email to all his customers that here are all bank acc's, use wahtever to pay in. Most of acc's are unmonitored.

This went wrong and we figured out becouse mail of pissed customer....

Congratulations, my friend. You earned "I am idiot" tatoo on forehead. Visit me to redeem your reward.

o rly?

Okay, one after another. They like to piss me off, apparently.

Coleague knows something isn't possible with current state of some api and pushes phone to me so I can maybe figure out what to reply to client. I dry-typed in "Its not possible" gave him phone and said "boom done, you know it aint possible"

Okay, TL;DR she got pissed that I am pissed that this BS is thrown at me and I dont want to participate in promissing something I know is undeliverable.

So she told me to go to PM/PO *kind of guy but not rly* with that problem. He aint technical by any mean. We are small company and for some reason this guy has more bearoucratic approach than I thought is possible to fit in one human.

Anyway. Well, apparently we will have meeting what are our options.
It all beginned that one guy promissed other guy undeliverable feature....

And becouse someone couldn't use his fucking brain it's pushed onto me, or I need to figure out how to do it. You cant without introducing safety flaw, period, it's that fuckin' simple.

But nooo, we will have god-knows-how-long meeting, that will bring exacly 0 value, as fking allways, and all I want now is just fucking focus on my fucking code becouse, ya know, I have timeline to follow, I dont have time to all that BS.

And to give you context, while keeping the stuff I cant share secret, imagine you have an API, that is just 'facade' of backend API, and layer of security. And they want to add authoritative endpoint to the facade API. Kind of endpoint "yes, you got paid".

Bravo, big brain, it will not work without like huge-as-fuck vunrability...

IDIOTS

How to not get pissed? Any protips?

Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.

Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..

Set some dev goals..

TLDR: spend less time at work coding

No, really..for what I do at work, I am happy. Would like to learn more recent stuff (partially stuck with vb.net), but I don't even know where to start googling.. sooo... get more free time I guess to figure this out..which is a dev goal on it's own too, come to think of it, this translates as don't spend so much time at work coding.. and spend some of it learning new (dev related) things outside of work..new/different js frameworks, python (been fixing/adding some code here & there, but never learned it properly & to check it's full potential, I heard it is awesome btw), read up on algorithm time costs (learn how to fuckin spell this!!)...

And kinda dev related as I will have to spend less time at work is to get back in 'sort of' shape and climb (more)..and spend more quality time with my husband, who is too good, totally supports me & my work, so I never get to hear him nag I was working late, which leads to 'stop working so long' goal I rly need to get in order or I'll burn out again, and I'm bitchy and horrible whe BO..and we don't wanna see that again..

Sum up: work less, learn new things, climb more, be happy/content.

You see, I was never really good at C. It felt too low-level for me to enjoy.

Right now, I'm forced to do a school project with C. For the last ~10 compilations, I've gotten no errors, contrary to my first prior experience.

Maybe I'm getting better at C.

Or maybe C is getting the better of me.

Thanks for reading, I'm rly tired.

Currently trying to start a freelancing career and deal with rly bad anxiety and depression at the same time... Not quite sure how to motivate myself to move forward and get some jobs and cash..

!rant

So, I've been working on a new project, it's basically a java library/package/jar with a lotta nice gadgets and stuff in.

The current functionality is limited, but will expand more as time goes on.

Right now it's able to:
apply ARGB filters to images (changing ARGB values), save objects in files on disk(Serializer/Deserializer), send emails with working create/load/unload configuration-system which saves a user-config to a file, loads and works with it, but the most coolest thing...

random char generation MY GOOOODDD

yea just wanted to post this cuz im rly proud

A noob here, please don't judge too hard.
My major is maths and philosophy(mainly doing logic in philosophy), and even though we had python in maths, it's so basic I don't even think I can say I learnt anything (sololearn on my phone taught me more lol)
Does anyone have experience of transferring to IT after or during a maths degree? Not rly asking for advice, just want to hear life experiences and maybe learn something!

So what's a good programming laptop anyway?
Just got a €1300 Asus at work. Beautiful machine, 4 cores, 16gb RAM,
BUT the trackpad sucks. Really sucks, as in you can't work with it. I'll be scrolling using two fingers, but half the time I just see the cursor going down. Is it only Macbooks that are decent in this field? Is my only hope to get a macbook and run Windows in boot camp? (rly need windows since my companies software is written in .Net

Wtf ? Chrome console telling me, the request failed with code 304.

304? chrome ? Rly ?

Wondered what that checkmark on a youtube channel means. Googled it. The summarized official answer:

Ok It's my last term in CS and guess what I have the knowledge as same as some one in high school i rly don't know what to do nAw any suggestions

i just broke up with my boyfriend cuz i like someone else but now that he is rly gone i just now realize i really do love him

Me: "<student> don't forget to go fap n nap in time" (he tends to game until way too late falling asleep during the day)
He: "I'm ready to learn hacking, I have aircrack-ng and A LOT MORE lol"
He: "machanger, anonsurf etc."
He: "wanna see?"
me: "not rly, cus you ain't gonna be using any of them for a looong time"

i had a massive burnout today where i was in college since 6am and i have a flu so at one moment i snapped and could no longer focus on lectures could not even write or listen or understand anything. i was physically there and mentally stranded. this is because i have been working for the past 2 years without 1 day of a break. it rly got to me. should i force myself to go to college or should i take at least 7 days of mental break?

!dev
Missed the fucking bus to work because they changed up the times here without prior notice...
So no more having the "nice" train (with comfy clean seats, wifi and airco) but the "crap" train (old dirty seats, no wifi and no airco) AND a quarter of an hour wait...

I rly need a drivers license...

Huhuhuhuu, somebody rly fcked up at facebook.