Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Just shaved my beard and immediately regretted it. I look like a snail now... And my Linux skills are gone...

I'm a self-taught 19-year-old programmer. Coding since 10, dropped out of high-school and got fist job at 15.

In the the early days I was extremely passionate, learning SICP, Algorithms, doing Haskell, C/C++, Rust, Assembly, writing toy compilers/interpreters, tweaking Gentoo/Arch. Even got a lambda tattoo on my arm after learning lambda-calculus and church numerals.

My first job - a company which raised $100,000 on kickstarter. The CEO was a dumb millionaire hippie, who was bored with his money, so he wanted to run a company even though he had no idea what he was doing. He used to talk about how he build our product, even tho he had 0 technical knowledge whatsoever. He was on news a few times which was pretty cringeworthy. The company had only 1 programmer (other than me) who was pretty decent.

We shipped the project, but soon we burned through kickstart money and the sales dried off. Instead of trying to aquire customers (or abandoning the project), boss kept looking for investors, which kept us afloat for an extra year.

Eventually the money dried up, and instead of closing gates, boss decreased our paychecks without our knowledge. He also converted us from full-time employees to "contractors" (also without our knowledge) so he wouldn't have to pay taxes for us. My paycheck decreased by 40% by I still stayed.

One day, I was trying to burn a USB drive, and I did "dd of=/dev/sda" instead of sdb, therefore wiping out our development server. They asked me to stay at company, but I turned in my resignation letter the next day (my highest ever post on reddit was in /r/TIFU).

Next, I found a job at a "finance" company. $50k/year as a 18-year-old. CEO was a good-looking smooth-talker who made few million bucks talking old people into giving him their retirement money.

He claimed he changed his ways, and was now trying to help average folks save money. So far I've been here 8 month and I do not see that happening. He forces me to do sketchy shit, that clearly doesn't have clients best interests in mind.

I am the only developer, and I quickly became a back-end and front-end ninja. 

I switched the company infrastructure from shitty drag+drop website builder, WordPress and shitty Excel macros into a beautiful custom-written python back-end.

Little did I know, this company doesn't need a real programmer. I don't have clear requirements, I get unrealistic deadlines, and boss is too busy to even communicate what he wants from me.

Eventually I sold my soul. I switched parts of it to WordPress, because I was not given enough time to write custom code properly.

For latest project, I switched from using custom React/Material/Sass to using drag+drop TypeForms for surveys.

I used to be an extremist FLOSS Richard Stallman fanboy, but eventually I traded my morals, dreams and ideals for a paycheck. Hey, $50k is not bad, so maybe I shouldn't be complaining? :(

I got addicted to pot for 2 years. Recently I've gotten arrested, and it is honestly one of the best things that ever happened to me. Before I got arrested, I did some freelancing for a mugshot website. In un-related news, my mugshot dissapeared.

I have been sober for 2 month now, and my brain is finally coming back. 

I know average developer hits a wall at around $80k, and then you have to either move into management or have your own business.

After getting sober, I realized that money isn't going to make me happy, and I don't want to manage people. I'm an old-school neck-beard hacker. My true passion is mathematics and physics. I don't want to glue bullshit libraries together. 

I want to write real code, trace kernel bugs, optimize compilers. Albeit, I was boring in the wrong generation.

I've started studying real analysis, brushing up differential equations, and now trying to tackle machine learning and Neural Networks, and understanding the juicy math behind gradient descent.

I don't know what my plan is for the future, but I'll figure it out as long as I have my brain. Maybe I will continue making shitty forms and collect paycheck, while studying mathematics. Maybe I will figure out something else.

But I can't just let my brain rot while chasing money and impressing dumb bosses. If I wait until I get rich to do things I love, my brain will be too far gone at that point. I can't just sell myself out. I'm coming back to my roots.

I still feel like after experiencing industry and pot, I'm a shittier developer than I was at age 15. But my passion is slowly coming back.

Any suggestions from wise ol' neckbeards on how to proceed?

Évolution.. so basically I have tried to grow a beard but it was too annoying and too scratchy so I dropped.. like all those side projects I guess...

When you find out your office's bathroom is really active on Github (yep that's my beard and yep I'm a tall guy)

I just feel that I have to get this of my chest, because this have really me and my family really negative.
It have destroyed my will to be happy, sort of.

Well, my father have some kind of control behaviour. My whole life he has been angry on stuff that does not really matter
and I have always been the one that get all the shit - because I am the oldest. I was never allowed (maybee 3-4 times between age 8-15) to have any friends
over or stay with friends over night or after school. Because they "where bad and I would become like them".

I am happy that I meet my wife 6 years ago and moved away from home when I was 20, I kinda fled the situation from home to start my own life.
My father has always hated when boy/men had long hair and alot of beard - but that is something I always wanted to have. So when I moved from home
I start to let everything grow.

Two years ago, things got really fucked up when I did not shave all my beard of and cut down my hair because my mom had birthday. I did it the week after
because my brother graduated from school and we where going to visit, we did not want a repeat the situation from a couple of weeks before. After that I got
another job as a Linux sysadmin and started to grow the hair and beard again.

Last monday, my dad called and said that I am not welcome to visit them anymore. I am a "bad example" for my sibling
and he also said "you brother and sister does not feel so good (my sister fainted a couple of days before, which I did not know) so I have no time to care about you and your family"
I was stunned, I really wish that this was a joke but it is'nt.

I have always been bashed because of the choices I make in my life and for my own family (wife, and two kids + one more kid any day now)

When I choose to work with something that I love, they said that I am stupid because they basically think "that the PC is full of SATAN".
When they realized that I make more money than my parents combined they went silent.

I just wanted to write this shit of my chest, it is really fucked up and I am starting to loose the ability to have feelings - if you know what I mean.

Thank you devrant, for being one of the fun things I do, when I read all the rage, fucked up stories, hate, and so on. I do not feel alone :)

PS: I promise you, that you guys/gals will be the first one to know when my new kiddo arrives

(me, growing the beard of a wizzard right now): well .... yeah ...

OH MY GOD, MY TEACHER DOES NOT TEACH MY FAVORITE LANGUAGE!

I've seen a lot of rants about teachers who use an outdated language, or don't accept the preferred framework or library of the ranter, or even force students to use a technology or even worse an OS they don't prefer.

Whats with that attitude?

I absolutely encourage young people to learn technology in their free time and it absolutely helps at building a career and become good at programming. I don't think being around 18 and never having worked in a real job is the time to select "the most superior language and technology".

Actually, that time is never.

Technology is evolving all the time and different tech evolves in different paths for different purposes. Get rid of the idea, that there is a "best" and get rid of the idea, that you will always be able to work with what you think is best.

If you're really really really awesome, you can chose to do what you like most. Not awesome as in "i learned programming in my free time, now i'm better than my programming-for-beginners-course teacher" but awesome as in "start my own company and can afford to only take the jobs i feel like doing", that awesome. Most likely, you're not (yet).

In the real world, you will very likely sometimes be required to work with technology you don't prefer. Maybe with something you think is really bad. Probably, it's not that bad. More likely, you read it on the internet from someone whose self-image is based on on loving TechA and hating TechB. A lot of much hated technology is at least okay for it's intended use. Maybe not the most pleasant time you will ever have, but no reason to jump out of the window. Hey, and if you get used to it, you may even start to like it. At least, learn to retain some dignity when confronted with things you don't like.

You can still think that one thing is better than another, but if you make a huge drama out of it, you just make it harder for yourself. The best programmer is the one who get's shit done, not the one with the saltiest tears.

Random person: wanna get a girlfriend? Shave your beard.

sysadmin@condor:~# no.
sysadmin@condor:~# FUCK NO.
sysadmin@condor:~# What are those muggles even thinking?!!
sysadmin@condor:~# Would you also ask Khal Drogo to cut off his ponytail?!

1) An increasing number of beards can be observed on the streets.
2) According to Netmarketshare, desktop Linux usage is at an all time high 2.18%.

Coincidence? I think not!

confession:
My devrant avatar has a full beard but I can't grow any in real life.
:(

> project nearing deadline [✔]
> an IDE that hangs itself [✔]
> awkward status meetings that turns into pointless discussion [✔]
> confusing requirements [✔]
> getting addicted to tea [✔]
> losing track of time [✔]
> sleepless nights [✔]
> overgrown hair and beard [✔]
> did I shower today ? [✔]
> no srsly did I ? [✔]
> I don't know where am going with this [✔]
> I should probably get some sleep [?!]

When you see a semi bald man with a messy beard, bit too much belly, a dead look in the eyes that carries a pc bag.

And your first thought is "oh, a sys admin" x)

Wrote my first real node.js application today.
Expect to wake up with a beard tomorrow morning...

My current one, not Dev related but still...

Walked into my interview with a full head of hair and man bun with a big bushy beard.

Started the day after I shaved off everything for a charity thing, my manager went 3 days without realising who I was and just rolled with me being there .-.

Insecure... My laptop disk is encrypted, but I'm using a fairly weak password. 🤔

Oh, you mean psychological.

Working at a startup in crisis time. Might lose my job if the company goes under.

I'm a Tech lead, Senior Backender, DB admin, Debugger, Solutions Architect, PR reviewer.

In practice, that means zero portfolio. Truth be told, I can sniff out issues with your code, but can't code features for shit. I really just don't have the patience to actually BUILD things.

I'm pretty much the town fool who angrily yells at managers for being dumb, rolls his eyes when he finds hacky code, then disappears into his cave to repair and refactor the mess other people made.

I totally suck at interviews, unless the interviewer really loves comparing Haskell's & Rust's type systems, or something equally useless.

I'm grumpy, hedonistic and brutally straight forward. Some coworkers call me "refreshing" and "direct but reasonable", others "barely tolerable" or even "fundamentally unlikable".

I'm not sure if they actually mean it, or are just messing with me, but by noon I'm either too deep into code, or too much under influence of cognac & LSD, wearing too little clothing, having interesting conversations WITH instead of AT the coffee machine, to still care about what other humans think.

There have been moments where I coded for 72 hours straight to fix a severe issue, and I would take a bullet to save this company from going under... But there have also been days where I called my boss a "A malicious tumor, slowly infecting all departments and draining the life out of the company with his cancerous ideas" — to his face.

I count myself lucky to still have a very well paying job, where many others are struggling to pay bills or have lost their income completely.

But I realize I'm really not that easy to work with... Over time, I've recruited a team of compatible psychopaths and misfits, from a Ukranian ex-military explosives expert & brilliant DB admin to a Nigerian crossfitting gay autist devops weeb, to a tiny alcoholic French machine learning fanatic, to the paranoid "how much keef is there in my beard" architecture lead who is convinced covid-19 is linked to the disappearance of MH370 and looks like he bathes in pig manure.

So... I would really hate to ever have to look for a new employer.

I would really hate to ever lose my protective human meat shield... I mean, my "team".

I feel like, despite having worked to get my Karma deep into the red by calling people all kinds of rude things, things are really quite sweet for me.

I'm fucking terrified that this peak could be temporary, that there's a giant ravine waiting for me, to remind me that life is a ruthless bitch and that all the good things were totally undeserved.

Ah well, might as well stay in character...

*taunts fate with a raised middlefinger*

Every time I see a guy with long untrimmed beard, I automatically assume he is a linux sysadmin. Should I feel bad?

Ah, A new update! Now, I can easily find out if a weird guy with beard +1's my rant. 😛

Grow a beard, gain weight, be a weirdo and spend the evening with some beer and Cheese Doodles. It is all socially acceptable because "he's a developer"

Just shaved my beard off.... now I can't remember how to use the bash shell :(

The facial hair devRant provides in it's profile builder are either well maintained thick growth of beard or a neatly trimmed uniform beard.
And here I am with my abomination of a beard that looks like a herd of cattle trampled over a sparse field of grass.

The struggle is real.

This is why everyone wants a beard:)

I can't grow a beard. How can I be a real dev?

How long does my beard have to grow before I'm allowed to code in flip flops?

If you don't see your beard growing, check for "overflow: hidden" on #face > .beard

Recently realized that I have the habit of plucking my beard hair when I'm contemplating. Turns out I picked out so much hair that a patch is missing from one side. I really need a fidget toy...

Am I a fraud if my avatar wears a huge beard and I can't grow more than a sad goatee ? :/

Just got a job, time to let the beard grow like I'm homeless

@dfox
I need longer beard on the avatars

I feel like it's a constant battle between not caring and my desire to have money.

Night at my girlfriend family... to celebrate both her and her sister birthday...

Offensive comments, jokes and pure irrespect about being a dev, having a beard and being quiet, from the guests.

Her actual family is really nice.

I swear... if I hear one more joke about my beard!

The only interesting person, her aunt, just left...

Back to stupid jokes and fake laughs.

I hate social functions.

Have to shave of my months long beard and dress up like a gentleman, too much effort imo.

People/companies talking about ooh we want gender diversity we want more female software developers, IT professionals etc

You talk the talk, do you know how to walk the walk?? Do you know how to deal with female engineers?

I am a hardcore engineer worked and studied majorly with men for years. I lead, managed teams had my own company worked as a consultant for years.

Then I got into the IT industry as developer later. I was completely against the idea of being female would make any difference or you would be treated differently.

Finally I had my own enlightenment and stopped resisting that idea.

Some treatments made me think what are these guys doing? Don’t treat me like your sister. I am not your sister. Don’t see the femininity or looks. I am not a Merrilyn Monroe to say oooh you are great you know soo much. I am not paid for that act, I do my job! It’s same as yours mate.

Don’t underestimate me or try to preach me as if I am a cute little girl. Don’t show off and boost your ego next to other guys.

Now I regretfully I agree the ladies ranting about male dominance and getting different treatment in IT.

I am literally trying to avoid red nail polishes or red lipstick god forbid. Maybe I should put some fake beard and a belly, loose jeans with an energy drink in hand. Here comes the expert IT professional, already ticking a box.

Honestly you are not taken seriously most of the time. If you are a guy then they are all ears..And those guys talk about they want gender diversity blah blah

You feel like a ghost when you express your opinion. You are not taken into account even when you have a comment or suggestion.

Even humiliated by a guy giving me a speech about how to be a good developer next to a manager. Look buddy I am not a yesterday’s child. I am at your age. I haven’t come to this position by jumping around picking flowers in a field. If I was a man, would you dare saying those to me? There could be a street fight coming.

LinkedIn selfie takers with body show offs putting ooh I am an IT recruiter as a female I got into IT. You can do it too. (don’t get me wrong I respect that achievement that’s good) but those girls get thousands of likes and applauses, you are working in IT for years people say they are seeking for. Your technical post doesn’t even get 20 likes. Your encouraging comment on a guy’s post isn’t even acknowledged. You are not even taken into account. Am I a ghost or something?

Honestly I don’t understand.

What do you mean by gender diversity? What do you want here?

Leave this gender bullshit. Look at the knowledge you don’t even know what equality means. It’s not having even numbers of genders. It is respecting knowledge and hard work regardless. Listening and acknowledging without judgement. Looking beyond male, female or others

Companies that say we want to have more females, you don’t come and knock on my door either. You are already stating a difference there. Attract with indifference don’t come and tell me you are a female we want more females here.

I’m telling you this sector is not getting proper gender equality for 25 years. Talk is there but mentality is not yet there.

I am super pissed off and discouraged today. I don’t even get discouraged that easily. Now I understand some women in IT talking about insecurities. I am on the edge of having one, such a shame.

Don’t come at me now I would bite!

This is my generalisation yes. Exceptions apply and how good it would have been if those exceptions were dominant.

Unpopular opinion: Having a beard helps convince others that you are a senior engineer

Just had a sudden "fuck it" moment and shaved my beard. I can already sense distrust in the face of people.
Am I banished from the church of emacs?

Subversion should be burried so far beneath the ocean that even the oldest developer, who is so old that he can't even think about jerking off no more, because his beard is so long and thick as a curtain made of strong streams of wool, waying him done so much that his face would immediately smash down to the floor if he ever would ever again attempt to stand up, denying access to his wrinkled dick, can't find it no more.

And yet I still have to use it at my job.

Oh my god.

This is simultaneously the best and worst welcome dev screen I have ever seen. I totally want to get an Angular/React/Java tatoo on my neck, grow out my beard a bit, start drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and drive a Volvo 240.

...And my coworkers can never see this splash screen or I'll never hear the end of it. 😥

I get rejected just for my beard, they don't like it.. and they're so idiot so they have prejudgments that any man with beard could be linked to terrorism. They literally said that I was the best fit to the post..

But, I am not changing who I am for them..

Recently I disassembled this Remington beard trimmer that I have, right. Thinking that I probably just depleted the battery or something like that, and that that's why the fucking thing would turn off after 10 seconds, with a miserable motor speed that could only be caused by what.. 2.5V or something like that? So I kept up with it for a while, and then a few days ago, I finally disassembled the fucking thing.

New 4.2V LiPo battery of my own attached, wicked! The thing has a 2Ah capacity and is fully charged, so fuck all in a big ship, I'ma shave my fucking hair without protection, who cares with 2Ah anyway, given that motors at 4.2V consume only 800-ish mA, right. So I shaved my head, and figured.. holy shit mate, I fucking beat this fucking cunt, fuck you Remington! Planned obsolescence my ass!!!

Just now @xewl sent me a request that made me reconsider this shaver. Some PS3 controller, should be easy enough to fix. But I referenced my shaver so I figured that I might actually check it beforehand.

The original fucking battery has 4V left on it. 4 fucking volts! That ain't gonna trip shit for an overdischarge protection circuit!!! WHY THE FUCK REMINGTON, WHY THE FUCK DID IT (IF ANYTHING) TRIP?! And more importantly, why did you make the motor turn for only 10-ish seconds after charging, 1 year after purchase, despite the fucking cell having 4 fucking volts in it, which is more than plenty to get the thing turning for at least a 60% charge?! Planned obsolescence perhaps, hmm?

But let's say that it was bad contacts or something like that. After all, my probing was a bit intermittent, showing 1.5V (if it's shorting, shouldn't it be in the mV range?) and then 4V at times, until I separated the nickel connectors from the 16500 cell. Why the fuck should that thing short, considering that it's unprotected?! The fucking cell is unprotected, and you Remington are going to let it short? What kind of fucking engineering is that, you fucking braindead morons?!!!

And why do you use a 16500 cell which isn't very standard over a 18650 cell, which is? Again, planned obsolescence? Fucking vile pieces of shit.

Now what's more.. I tried to power on the shaver for a picture for this fucking rant, using a LiPo cell of my own that I used to shave my hair with the other day, to get a nice picture of my little hack. But the fucking thing, despite having 3.89V left in it after that fucking shave, which is more than plenty for a lithium cell, the fucking unit doesn't power on. WHAT THE FUCK REMINGTON?!! That's planned obsolescence at its best, init?!! You vile fucking pieces of shit.

So I guess that this rant is no more one of "I beat these Remington cunts". It is one of "you can bet your fucking ass that planned obsolescence is a thing!!"

Opened devRant while sitting in public transport.
Suddenly, the dude sitting next to me starts talking to me.
Nearly got a heart-attack because I thought he was going to say something about the devRant feed I was scrolling through or even reveal he was also on devRant. (Dude reminded me of some of the guys on the face reveal. Also, wild beard. XD)

Now somewhat disappointed but also relieved he wasn't a fellow devRanter. (I probably am a social being but when someone catches me off-guard I may react awkward.)

Beard is love 🦁❤

I shaved half my beard off. I just had a meeting with a recruiter and he told me I might get problems with upper management (CEOs for example) in Switzerland because they are still very conservative and they'll be interviewing me. Why would that matter!? Either I get the job done or I don't, why the hell does it make a difference if I like to stick out in a crowd with a unique cool beard!?

I only develop UIs with react and only ever with functional components

I would actually DIE without my MacBook Pro 16”

I spend roughly 30 minutes a day trimming my beard. I’m a civilized man after all

I only drink Starbucks coffee, and only if it’s a triple pump latte

Ew what’s jQuery? Sounds like something my grandpa used

Omg really? Are you still using PHP in 2020?! Lame!

Gross. Windows is for n00bs and Linux is for nerds. macOS FTW

Post is comprised of quotes from a classmate who annoyed the living hell out of me

I trimmed my beard and now can't grow it back.
:/

At this point i'd like to talk about the original PHP founder Rasmus Lerdorf, who was obviously too distracted by his own beard while watching the NBA Playoffs in 1995 to write a proper language.

There's not a language more inconsistent, ilogical, deficient, and best of all, bad structured.

Seriously, which substances was he smoking when thinking up such things as: non objective strings, incasesensitive functions and associative arrays?

What have objects ever done? any other honorable language does that, python, javascript, rails, C#, take your pick.
Not to mention the order of needle/haystack parameters.

Day 5, saga of fighting crystal reports and Oracle drivers: I have finally lost the rest of the hair on the top of my head, and fear my beard may be thinning. My rubber duck seems to be suffering from a personality disorder... things aren't looking good.

For our office secret Santa one year I drew the boss's name. I don't know him very well as he's a pretty unsociable person, for the first six months of my employment was introduced to clients as the web developer's "little buddy." So I really wanted to do something passive agressive.

I spent a few days trying to find the best prank gifts. I landed on a glitter bomb. I filled a balloon with glitter, puffed just enough air in it so it fit in the box, and rigged it up with an x-acto blade inside which would pop the balloon when you open the top flaps.

It worked fantastically. The balloon popped, glitter went everywhere, the entire office was laughing except the boss. It was days before the glitter started to dissipate from his beard.

Gender Bending For Fun and Profit.

I love how in the 'make your avatar' area, if you select female, and then click facial hair, theres nothing to select from.

Like a massive fuck you to every gender bending "down with meritocracy" purple haired dicksniffer in sanfran.

Also I'm sorely disappoint for desk items, theres no

1. giant dildos

2. anime figures/weeb shit

3. mini monoliths (I asked the site devs about this, they replied "we can't do that dave.")

4. a shirtless option for my female avatar

5. edgy scrolling numbers and code, like in the matrix

6. hoodies. They're the modern leather jacket.

7. Big nasty gnarly biker beard which I'm currently in the process of growing. How am I supposed to intimidate other anonymous cowards and mock them over the size of their beard compared to my own avatar's e-beard size? It's quiet girthy and lengthy, I assure you!

This is completely unrelated, but I thought devducks were like quick one-off debug sessions that could be bought from other devrant users.

I was disappointed when I discovered it was just merch.

On the otherhand I'm glad as fuck it's not. Site would be flooded by broken-english speaking goat humping dickheads.

How am I supposed to show off my ability to code with completely unrelated avatar change ups when no one will allow me to emasculate my avatar?

I fucked up.

In my career, colleagues always looked up to me to solve everything. From day 1.
Hell, I have nicknames; « The Dad », « Machine », « The Beard »... when I meet a new group of devs at the bar they use those nicknames even if I have no clue who they are.

Result? I'm not allowed to fail and even if I do and try to take responsibility, no one ever blame me.

They see me as a fucking zen programming monk, all wise, patient and kind.

Oh boy here we go. I screw things up all the time and can never let go the guilt since I'm not allowed to take responsibility of my mistakes.

Once again I wake up after a night of stress working, trying to overcome analysis paralysis. I'm late. Supposed to have meetings with some fucking PHDs, fueling my imposter syndrome.

Can't even learn anything in those conditions.

Fuck they should call me the fraud.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

IT FUCKING WORKS!!!

I tried so long on getting my new Netty based webserver up and running, I think I grew my beard twice... But NOW ITS WORKING!

Need to delete a few unnecessary functions that I needed with the old web server, implement SSL. And I can finally release a version of my framework ❤️❤️❤️

And I might put up one standalone version because - it's the same freaking server every time so I am fucking loving to export it ❤️❤️

I grew a Gandalf beard, and android studio is still loading

@dfox can y’all add a beard/mustache combo to the avatar in which mustache hasn’t connected to the beard yet.

Some of us have really shitty genes XD

Fuck JavaScript, seriously I have spent the last 8 hours trying to build a fucking basic search application that would take me < 1 hour in any other fucking programming language on the planet. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I'd rather pay some dude with a long ass fucking beard who calls himself a "Frontend Engineer" WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. Because my backend oriented brain cannot fucking handle all of the frameworks, and modules, and different versions of the same fucking language. Plus its like JavaScript was designed so that you can't not write spaghetti code. FUCK THIS. I'm going back to writing static fucking template code that is used by a fucking backend language that only changes every few fucking years, not every month.

Have a great day. :)

My beard now matches my devRant avatar... Hooray!

I love my adhd kicks. My webstorm trial ended, I downloaded vscode, hated the bindings, I then used thr intellij extension. Everything ok expect autocomplete, not a fan of tab, couldn't use enter to enter enter as a binding. Hacked that binding.json, idk how i ended up installing a json sorter extension, ow theres a imports sorter. Okay what exactly i wanted to do? Right, do my niche site. Bad idea, i had written it in kotlin js, (missing intellij already) so i searched for almost non-scripting framework. Idk what happened...i ended up being interested in tailwind. Tried it a bit, ow they have tailwind ui. Thinking about buying the sweet shit. Ow i see headless UI... Pause, threw tailwind out. Thinking about react, met Solid, loved it, yarned and npmed it. Extension time, auto tag rename, more emmet like shit, rainbow and fira fonts, theme, scheme, ow colors whaaaw. Okay, its not gonna look like or feel like intellij, more like IDEA community if i had made the ide. What was i making again? Ah my webcrapp. still (idea)less... I went to codepen, grew a beard, came out, still feeling powerfully uncreative. Last stop: awwwards.. ow that awesome 7up nl site, imma see it, they nuked the animations, everything. This is where the rant actually ends, because THANK GOD I DONT FULLSTACK FOR A LIVING!!! Swift, Kotlin, XML and unpredictable Gradle is good enough for me to stop me from going wild. Stay safe. Genetic.🙋‍♂️

2 Questions for guys [and gals, let's not be sexists..] with beards.

1. Why the beard? :)
2. What dev are you [bkend/fend/fstack, what lang.?]? Or admin?

I wonder if there is a correlation..

@dfox please make avatar like the attached one, as for the moment I can't decide what to shave - my beard or my moustache 😉

I spent 4 hours trying to rectify a client's website.

Just to find out it was missing a '}' in one of the CSS line. Can you not?

*facepalm*

After vs before

Got a new job a couple days ago, cleaning cars at a dealership. One of my friends works there doing the same and he told me I should apply.

The hourly rate isn't much more than I was making at McDonald's, but I have very consistent hours now. I'm only scheduled for 35 hours a week, but normally we don't get out on time. On Friday we didn't get out until an hour after I was scheduled to leave, so chances are I'll get overtime here.

Basically all I wanted in a job was to have consistent hours. Come in at 2, leave at 8, rinse and repeat. McDonald's was basically, come in at 4, leave at 10, maybe stay until 11. Next day you're coming in at 7 and closing, next day you normally work but now you don't. Just very inconsistent, and basically no chance at full time unless you're a manager's favorite.

I like the new job, I get to drive nice cars and clean them, and that's basically it. I got to drive a car that's the same model as my mom's car, but 7 years newer (she has a 2011, the one I drove was a 2018). Even got to drive the exact model of the car that hit me a few months ago (same year too).

I've never been a huge car guy, but I really like it there. There's just something very satisfying about driving a brand new car. Also, at McDonald's I wasn't allowed to have a beard. At the new job they don't give a shit, as long as I work.

These ignorant comments about arch are starting to get on my nerves.

You ranted or asked help about something exclusive to windows and someone pointed out they don't have that problem in arch and now you're annoyed?

Well maybe it's for good.

Next comes a very rough analogy, but imagine if someone posts "hey guys, I did a kg of coke and feeling bad, how do I detox?"

It takes one honest asshole to be like "well what if you didn't do coke?".

Replace the coke with windows.
Windows is a (mostly) closed source operating system owned by a for profit company with a very shady legal and ethical history.

What on earth could possibly go wrong?

Oh you get bsod's?
The system takes hours to update whenever the hell it wants, forces reboot and you can't stop it?
oh you got hacked because it has thousands of vulnerabilities?
wannacry on outdated windows versions paralyzed the uk health system?

oh no one can truly scrutinize it because it's closed source?

yet you wonder why people are assholes when you mention it? This thing is fucking cancer, it's hundreds of steps backwards in terms of human progress.

and one of the causes for its widespread usage are the savage marketing tactics they practiced early on. just google that shit up.

but no, linux users are assholes out to get you.

and how do people react to these honest comments? "let's make a meme out of it. let's deligitimize linux, linux users and devs are a bunch of neckbeards, end of story, watch this video of rms eating skin off his foot on a live conference"

short minded idiots.

I'm not gonna deny the challenges or limitations linux represents for the end user.

It does take time to learn how to use it properly.
Nvidia sometimes works like shit.
Tweaking is almost universally required.
A huge amount of games, or Adobe/Office/X products are not compatible.
The docs can be very obscure sometimes (I for one hate a couple of manpages)

But you get a system that:
* Boots way faster
* Is way more stable
* Is way way way more secure.
* Is accountable, as in, no chance to being forced to get exploited by some evil marketing shit.

In other words, you're fucking free.
You can even create your own version of the system, with total control of it, even profit with it.

I'm not sure the average end user cares about this, but this is a developer forum, so I think in all honesty every developer owes open source OS' (linux, freebsd, etc) major respect for being free and not being corporate horseshit.

Doctors have a hippocratic oath? Well maybe devs should have some form of oath too, some sworn commitment that they will try to improve society.

I do have some sympathy for the people that are forced to use windows, even though they know ideally isn't the ideal moral choice.
As in, their job forces it, or they don't have time or energy to learn an alternative.

At the very least, if you don't know what you're talking about, just stfu and read.

But I don't have one bit of sympathy for the rest.

I didn't even talk about arch itself.
Holy fucking shit, these people that think arch is too complicated.

What in the actual fuck.

I know what the problem is, the arch install instructions aren't copy paste commands.
Or they medium tutorial they found is outdated.

So yeah, the majority of the dev community is either too dumb or has very strong ADD to CAREFULLY and PATIENTLY read through the instructions.

I'll be honest, I wouldn't expect a freshman to follow the arch install guide and not get confused several times.
But this is an intermediate level (not megaexpert like some retards out there imply).

Yet arch is just too much. That's like saying "omg building a small airplane is sooooo complicated". Yeah well it's a fucking aerial vehicle. It's going to be a bit tough. But it's nowhere near as difficult as building a 747.

So because some devs are too dumb and talk shit, they just set the bar too low.

Or "if you try to learn how to build a plane you'll grow an aviator neckbeard". I'll grow a fucking beard if I want too.

I'm so thankful for arch because it has a great compromise between control and ease of install and use.

When I have a fresh install I only get *just* what I fucking need, no extra bullshit, no extra programs I know nothing about or need running on boot time, and that's how I boot way faster that ubuntu (which is way faster than windows already).

Configuring nvidia optimus was a major pain in the ass? Sure was, but I got it work the way I wanted to after some time.

Upgrading is also easy as pie, so really scratching my brain here trying to understand the real difficult of using arch.

Imagine.

You have a beard. You are in a restaurants toilet. The beard likes to eat half of the meal itself. You want to clean your beard, so you sprinkle your beard. Now its clean and beautiful. Then you realise - there is only one of those air dryers. You are screwed.

I never understood or will understand my mother or positive energy that resides in her, so I'm going through a little tough time here, broke and unemployed and she just challenged me to shave off my 'stach and beard and something good will happen in my life, so I did just to prove her wrong

> Develop puppet deployment module for hip new mail server
> set vm so taht it simulates cheap ass requirements of 1 core, 1 gig ram
> finally get to the webserver part, need to generate own dhparam.pem

Meanwhile my beard is becoming more and more grey

Don't you just feel that powerful personal connection when a recruiter on LinkedIn starts his message with "Dear Sir/Madam, I really like your profile and it is a great fit blah blah"...

Sure you do, enough to miss my obvious beard (and thus genre).

Oh and I'll pass on that opportunity that doesn't fit any of my skills/previous experience.

I wonder if people think they're original when they shout "it's Jesus!" because I have long hair and a beard

I often resort to a hipster bun so people would just leave me out of their "humour"

I won't mention the fact he was from the Middle East and was most definitely not white

Since I still can't grow a proper beard I find myself wondering... Am I really a developer?

Request: there needs to be a beard style for around the face minus the sides of the mouth and no moustache.
Think "helmet" 😐

**starts having insecurities about not being able to grow a proper beard**

So there was this rant: "I have a beard now" but by the time I wrote my comment it was gone. So why not make it a dedicated story of its own. This was partially in response to @Floydian who asked if he grew it overnight.

It's the remarkable moment:
1) It's been a while since you shaved and you will return to work/school/wherever today/tomorrow, so you pick up the razor.
2) You look at the mirror and like what you see so you just return the razor to its place.
3) ???
4) Still have beard when you leave the house.

When the client isn't satisfied and you gotta re-do the whole thing! yeah, this is what you get! A beard slap!

Guy told me Java Swing is more stable and has more effective look than JavaFx. Okay mate, I'm sure. 😒

Choosing a good beard for my avatar.

When you click Run, go for a coffee, have a meetup, a quick nap, grow a beard and two kids only to come back and find ...

...Gradle building...

Getting hair, beard trimmed and taking a long shower..

Brand new day, time to have a new mindset.
I need to finish the big project for the big boss, and fix things with my wife. Wish me luck fellas

Thinking of shaving my beard to remind my wife of when we first met so she will be tricked into loving me for the time being.

After weeks of burning the candle at both ends you finally get a good night's sleep.

You wake up and either have a skin condition or a beard had grown and you didn't notice. All joints sound like a bowl of rice crispies when you move and you're seriously beginning to identify with Rip Van Winkle.

My beard has grown during the time i've been waiting for Emscripten SDK to get installed

In Syria, my connection speed is 512kbps and Google repositories is blocked, so i had to run OpenVPN using a VPNBook account located in Poland to get everything working, and i guess you all know how connection speed is screwed when you use a VPN, i hardly got 300kbps

The bright side is having to do ZERO configurations on Linux before installation

The senior iOS dev I was working with in my first job after uni - he showed me so many objc tricks and his self-written libraries to make working with UI stuff in swift more concise, it blew my mind. At the same time, he was very humble and calm, and had a funny humor at times. Also his code and the architecture in an older app we needed to work on was super easy to read and understand. That's why I want to be more like him - and eventually grow a beard :-)

What do you guys wear to work? I usually go to work in jeans and T-shirt. And I grow a mustache and beard. But my cousin is suggesting me to do clean shave and wear formals to work everyday. He says that it'll make a good impression in the workplace, like I take work seriously.

I do get his point because I automatically give more respect to people who come to office in formals. But I don't feel comfortable working in formals. Moreover my workplace is very casual and my manager, TL, VP all wear jeans (even torn) and tee.

Never have I ever been nervous about a meeting. Clients come to me all the time requesting a meeting. I've had positive reviews ever since I started.

However two days ago I received an email about an interview that takes place in the morning. And I decided to fuck up my fucking beard in tryig to groom it! FUCK!

I want a neckbeard option in devrant avatar building. Let’s be real, maybe one percent of us has good dense beard.

maaan its such awkward, if you're chilling on a supermarket parking lot, with your 20mph moped drinking your one end of work beer and also have long hair and long beard 😂 im always thinking the people think im a homeless or something like that.. fml what a world

!rant

Avatar request: separate colour choice for beard.

... I'm not exactly in the 99%, but my beard hair isn't the same colour as my head hair. 😂

- I love blowing my mind. Even if it is the most confusing thing. Things like security mechanisms, neurons' behaviors, mathematics (even tho I hate it when I fail lol), electronics, medical terminology and chemistry.
- I love collecting rare coins, personally never-seen stones and put them into my collection. I love to be a designer. Not only on my laptop. I have a book shelf and within that book shelf I put stones that create the yin yang sign while pushing the books to two sides. That makes them look like they are levitating. I have stones (including obsidian) that create a triangle and a knife hanging down the wall of my room.
- I love visiting touristic, historic, naturally-beautiful but also non-touristic (non-touristic? yes. by that I mean visiting e.g. the areas of touristic cities which are dangerous, because you can easily fall down off of a slippery ground and take serious injuries) places around the globe, talk to complete strangers in public (I am trying to be an extrovert), take pictures with my camera and collecting antiquities.
- I love taking risks (no. I don't play any poker games etc on the internet) without trying to put other people in risk. Driving insanely with whatever I have. Car, bike, you name it.
- I love reading books. Books that are about human psychology, fantasy novels and books about programming languages.
- I love to cook (I am at the beginning).
- I love to use the konMari method of tidying up my room.
- I love plants.
- I love having everything in my room tidied up (even if I am too busy with other stuff and skip this cleaning process for a week upto a month sometimes. Sorry, room.).
- I love doing sports. But mostly sport that I have never tried before. This can be, because of my greedy wish for an adrenaline kick. That led me into taking a balloon flight at 4 am (sunrise) and to paragliding at sunset above Mediterranean sea btw. (I am normally afraid of flying, but paragliding was awesome).
- I love swimming. Like, you cannot pull me out of the sea for a minimum of 2 hours, if it is not important.
- I love laying above the sea water and let the sea carry me to somewhere else.
- I love being alone. I love the silence. I love to be free in my thoughts.
- I love watching the sunset, the light that shines through the forest, the moonlight and the stars at night.
- I love dreaming. No, like, lucid dreaming for example.
- I love being open to any opinions.
- I love to learn about other people's views about the world and their religion.
- I love pets and would do anything to keep them alive when they are ill. It hurts my heart seeing them like this.
- I love watching demonic "A: Holy shit! Did you see this thing, too?! B: Yes!" YouTube videos just for the fun of it, but I hate horror movies and games.
- I love trying out new things. The creation of music and video for example.
- I love to give my hair and beard a shape, if I am too lazy to go to the barbershop lol. By that I don't mean just going to the barbershop, but taking an electric razor and cutting my hair myself even if I get bad results from time to time that can be corrected by letting any family member tell me in which area of of my head the hair problem is.
- I don't like disco clubs.
- I don't like toxic people even though I can be a quite toxic person myself without realizing it. If I appear toxic to you, inform me about it. Having so much testosterone in that moment, can make me do things that I don't want to do.
- I don't like drugs even tho I have to admit that I am trying a few from time to time (maybe 6 months in-between) to have a dopamine kick. I am not an addict.
- I hate myself for things that I did in the past.
- I used to watch MMA videos etc.
- I used to use a telescope, but I can't find it anymore.
- I used to have a microscope, but I can't find it anywhere and besides of that the seller did literally piss in it before selling it to me many years ago. Don't want to touch it tbh.
- I used to play games, but I don't enjoy games anymore. That makes me feel sad.
- I miss the old moments of my life.

In conclusion:
I like how things went and go so far. It changed me so much. It made me a good and a bad person. I became more open and confident, but it also particularly made me a leader who can say "fuck off" in a bad way to his family. I would like to undo this particular part of me.

When first I saw the brace, I was petrified!
Kept thinking, who would ever try to put them on the side?!
But then I spent so many nights, thinking how your program's wrong,
My beard grew long, found out how Python gets along..

Copied from Reddit.

!rant

for just fifteen dollars a day you TOO can help a poor beardleas man by sharing part of your beard today. All around the world beardless waifs are beaten, abused, and left out in the rain. They are hungry and cold. Please. For just twenty dollars a day you too can help one of these helpless beardless bastards. Everyday they get colder, and hungrier. Please, wont you have a heart. Even a small donation of fifty dollars a day can mean the world to these patchy faced gifts from god.

For just a hundred dollars a day you can make a difference.

"On the beards of an angel, fly away with me.."

#beardlives

I look like a fucking mohammad with this giant fucking beard 🧔🏽🕌☪️🕋💣🧨💥

!dev
Wanted to get a haircut. My normal barber closed, so I just went to the closest one where arabic looking guys are working (as they are usually amazing with beards...) And you wouldn't belive it...
You need to schedule an apointment! Not just walk in, get offered something to drink, wait your turn and crack stupid jokes with the waiting guys...
Fuck!

It pisses me off so much when companies sell their products with non standardized charging ports. I bought a no name beard trimmer some time ago, lost the charger and obviously I cant find a replacement because I have no fucking clue what connector it is. The description of the trimmer mentions nothing. Fucking bs that is! -__-"

!rant
Making the avatar is relatively stressful due to how I wanted it to have the beard I could never attain but the sight of it still made me cringe. Plus, I wanted a pet but points requirements made me sad.

THE GLORY THAT IS GNOME 40 !!!!!
I'LL BLOW THAT GARDEN THINGAMAJIG UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ! AND SCREW YOU PEOPLE FOR DOWNING MY LOVE AFFAIR YEARS AGO ! I LOVE CHESTER THE GNOME, HIS BEARD TICKLES AND HE IS MULTI TASKING !

So yea, I just changed my avatar

The beard is dead

Good news! I didn't shave my beard, but talked things over with my wife. Turns out we were just lost in communication due to all of the time I spend on my computer.

We had passionate love making and planned a trip with the kids to go to 30A over the summer.
Life's good.

"An ad should be an appetizer, not a buffet. " - Lee Clow’s Beard

as i can zoom in now, i can see beard and lips weird 😂

So just checked in after a long while, how is everyone been?

Me? I grew a beard! HaHA!

Kevin and I work together on a deep learning project. We have to present our initial literature survey to the review panel, in preparation for that after preparing the presentation (ppt) , we needed to prepare for presentation i.e cut hair shave beard (that's the preparation most developers toil at) and to top that we need to wear formal clotihing ! (yeah! you heard that right ironed formal pan formal cloth).

Kevin went to the barber shop for a hair cut and planned it later. The barber was an unemployed mechanical engineer ( a prerequisite for the story ahead) he casually started asking kevin some personal questions which included questions about his stream in engineering , project etc etc.
When he got to know about deep learning project we were working on.
He with so much hypocrisy, prejudice started belittling our project and also all developer about how they just copy-past code from github, etc etc. Also about how he also' can build website and stated that developer make money by just copy-paste job and about how majority of developers are just douchbag and told my friend to regret on not taking other vocation.
I am gonna go to his shop tommorow let me know, how to respond to that jerk.
I am gonna make his ears bleed, thats for sure.

Why do ALL Tech CEOs dont have a beard? Like name me one tech CEO with a beard.

I just growth a beard while waiting email from mynic

me: FE in work, but doing fullstack on my passion projects and somewhat confident on small VPSs - heck, I have a beard, I can do server stuff :) - migrating a WP site that just wont work, copied everything, didn't work, used a migration tool, didn't work, always getting "Connection refused"... must be something with the SSL certificates.. 3 fckn days passed by and nothing when I stumbled upon a forum post with similar issue where the guy stated: I tried all the obvious like copying files, db, certificates, enabled ssl on apache... then it hit me, this is a new installation, I didn't enabled SSL in apache sudo a2enmode ssl restarted apache and BOOM everything is working
part of me was like how stupid you have to be - but the other part is like I guess I learn something every day, this is how you migrate a WP site with the domain #IloveIT

Are programmers so
1. Busy to skip to get the time for shave, (long hair and beard),
2. Or lazy to skip.
3. Or don't find it as a need.

Sorry for poor English