This...

Finally a solution tonthe long stand up calls

I code so my cat can live a better life

START FUCKING USING GIT.

😅

I sold my first app today. I’m 70 cents richer now. ;)

Mean while my life now as a developer 😋

The way things are prioritized:

Emergency
Critical
ASAP
Do first
Top priority
Urgent
Urgent ASAP
Major urgent

Fuck sakes.. 😣

My roommate stole my devRant stickers. Fucking cunt.

jabascrept

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

devRant should have a character limit of 1024 instead of 1000...

Yoda speaks like he wasn't careful with his async calls

"a Jedi You are"

void walks into a cave
doesn't return

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

As a Dev,
I hate writing Docs.

As a Dev,
I hate it when there's no Docs.

Vicious Cycle.

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.