OMFG!
Who created that overcomplicated shit called "MS Project"?!
I hope you die of something slow and painful!
FUUUUUUUUCK

My experience with Google's marketing platform.
Client wants me to "drive sales", you see.

*not the actual client's name

My finger slipped and instead of 64px I typed 63px.
The horror...
The horror...

My college lecturer when someone was having problems with FileZilla:
- Let's go back to Dreamweaver.

I never thought I'd here these words... on the other hand he's using Internet Explorer :(

There was no "S" in sight :)

My client wants me to "help increase sales" by applying seo voodoo. For over two years they didn't even have Analytics. Now, after 12 days they're asking me what do I make of the results. Like that's a meaningful amount of data for analysis.

"Jabba the Script" that's how my girlfriend calls JavaScript.