Paypal Rant #3

One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables

I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.

I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.

No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

Paypal Rant #2

Paypal might just be the only company with 98% of their employees being support staff because not a soul on this planet knows how to work with that fucking piece of shit of a company's service.

No really, if there was a shittiness-rating from 1-10 (10 = worst) you would have to store paypal's rating as a string or invent a new data type because no CPU could fucking work with such a big ass fucking number.

If I had to choose between Paypal and going back to manually trading physical goods/animals for stuff I would gladly choose the latter, because Paypal, go suck a bag of dicks you useless fucking shitpile of a "company".

Short personal Code Editor Review:

Atom (web-based)
Speed 👎
Packages 👍 (relatively up-to-date)
Features 👍

Visual Studio Code (web-based)
Speed 👉
Packages 👍
Features 👍

Sublime Text (native)
Speed 🚀
Packages 👉 (not as up-to-date)
Features 👍

Verdict:
Having worked with all of those editors for at least three weeks each I have come to the following conclusion:
I liked Sublime Text most primarily for it's performance, but was a little disappointed by the fact that the packages were not updated as frequently, not available or VSCode had some that have better support.

Second would be my current editor, Visual Studio Code, which I only use because I need certain packages that were not present on Sublime Text.

Atom is not bad either, it just happens to be the least recent editor I used, it was quite slow but an overall solid editor.

If I had to choose to use one for the rest of my life, I would probably go with Sublime.

I think there is little margin between features across all of those editors, only exception being performance for Sublime Text. I also quite liked the file organisation design of it (which I can't really say about VSCode).

Those are my subjective opinions on the editors, hope it helps some of you decide which one to give a shot next!

End of the world ?

Github/Bitbucket losing all its data while you are transitioning to a new system with no backups.

I'd rather face a nuclear war.

Rubber duck company meeting in 1998:
Okay folks, our sales are plummeting, we need new ideas... NOW!

Employee: Let's brainwash developers! Make them think our ducks magically solve their debugging issues....

Other employees: *rofl*

CEO: Brilliant, let's do that.

SERIOUSLY: FUCK YOU PAYPAL...

🖕For your 500 Apis that seemingly do the same fucking thing
🖕For your fucking Webhooks that get dispatched every fucking century
🖕For needing a fucking degree in PayPal sciences to understand which fees apply and when
🖕For doc links that seemingly lead to nowhere
🖕For having to plow through 500 pages on your fucking retarded website to be able to execute or receive a fucking payment
🖕For your casual internal server errors
🖕For your fucking ancient sandbox account design and dysfunctional features therein

Making payments is not fucking rocket science you fucking cunts.

🖕FUCK YOU!🖕

Dentist: Did you follow the advice I gave you in our last sitting ?
Me: Sure did!
Dentist: Great, let's see!
*Inspects teeth*
Dentist: Your teeth look horrible.
Me: I did exactly what you advised me to do!
Dentist: You brushed your teeth twice a day every day?
Me: Twice???
Dentist: Yes, I told you to brush before bed and in the morning!
Me: That's exactly what I did! Sometimes it was hard to fulfill both conditions at the same time, so I had to brush twice, but I managed to do it on the other days!
Dentist: Fucking programmers.

Mouse starting to break down once again.... Any suggestions for a good durable/comfortable mouse ? Shouldn't be too big, I have medium-sized hands. Also open to alternative input methods (trackball, trackpad, etc) if recommended.

!rant
To all the hardcore Vim users:

Why do you prefer Vim over IDEs ?
Are you faster/more efficient using Vim ?
What are it's main benefits/drawbacks in your view ?

I'm familiar with it, but nothing more than that. Usually use it just for quick and dirty edits, but that's all.
I'm seriously considering making the change to Vim and I can't explain why. Read an article once why Vim is still relevant and some features as to why that is, but I'd like to get more opinions on it.

[SO] Can you unload the dishwasher?
[Me] Of course.

*5 hours later*

[SO] Why is the dishwasher still not done ?
[Me] Why would it be ?
[SO] I asked you to unload it ....
[Me] No, you asked if I CAN do it, and I am able to do it, you didn't ask me to actually do it.
[SO thinking] God, why did I marry a fucking programmer.....

I don't know if it's just me, but the sharing panel in the rant detail view makes me cringe. Not a designer but I've been told that elements are not meant to be displayed in such a way (e.g obscuring other view elements like text). I don't think it looks ugly, it just sends a tingle down my spine. To me it seems like an "in your face" approach to encourage users to share. I hope this is understood as constructive criticism.

Possible solution: show the exact panel that is in use right now but with a background and only if users scroll upwards(!).

Had to get this off my chest. Have a nice day folks.

How I feel when I see those fucking pop-ups that appear when the mouse leaves the website:

Once upon a time I sent my CV to a handful of companies. Just for fun I mailed them my physical CV copies + personal statement/motivational letter (3 pages total).

Right at the end of the horribly formatted 12pt Comic Sans pages it read:
"Turn pages to read the Helvetica version".

Never actually wanted those jobs anyway...

Here's to all the people who are willing to spend 5$ at starbucks but refuse to spend a dollar on an app

When self-proclaimed Wordpress-wanna-be-webmaster-wizards of the universe ask me why it takes us so long to finish a project and that he can do anything we do in WP in a short period of time:

When I'm on vacation and my client keeps going on and on about some low-priority bullshit

How our client should have reacted when I told him we'd be done in 2 months

What did you say ? There is a new Javascript MVC framework ?
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

When somebody comes up with a "hacky" solution:

When people paste their whole fucking million line noobie spaghetti code into a single Stackoverflow question:

Have you ever had that deep, deep depressing moment where you just thought to yourself: "Man, why did I switch to Mac" ?

Yeah, me neither.

New guy: There's a memory leak in my code.
Me: You need to free the memory you previously allocated.
New guy: Already did that, deleted everything from my "Downloads" folder and some stuff from my Desktop.
Me: *Long Pause* Have you tried "rm -rf /" yet ?

Chatting on Slack with a junior dev:

[Junior Dev] How do I get that file from the server ?
[Me] ssh into it and then use scp

I see Junior across the room, literally saying "shshh..." at the computer.

Packed my stuff and quit that day.

Yup, Game Over!

Went through this bad boy in 2 days. Yes, I have masochistic tendencies... 1060 pages of sweetness