Details
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About10+ years of mobile and dev in general. 4 years as team lead. 3 as architect.
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Skillspython, java, go, bash, team lead, architect, devops, fuken javascript
Joined devRant on 4/5/2017
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My cat's brain is powerful enough to calculate and apply the exact physics of a long jump, with ballistics, flight aerodynamics, dynamic weight distribution using tail as stabilizer, all of that, and land a jump every time without failure.
Yet, it's not powerful enough to realize that can just walk straight through a slightly opened door using her body as a wedge. Or, she can just, you know, push the door open with her paw. When presented with an everyday task that involves physics, she acts like she's nothing but an ethereal ghost and fails miserably.
This makes me think that her jump computer is a very old hardwired part inherited from frogs, honed by evolution and compiled into wetware millions of years ago. Like an ancient analog computer that works flawlessly every time. She has no conscious access to its inner workings. She can use it, sure, but she doesn't understand it.
I wonder how many such parts do us humans posses.13 -
I never realized USB Type C was built to be reversible. I always assumed that I got it right every time in the first try.
What's happened to me3 -
This morning i received an email from the boss reporting their record breaking profits for 2024 by now
1.8B €
Then for other subprojects
27B €
21B €
Etc
All net profit. More than about 130B € profits just in these first 5 months of 2024
This made me realize
My 17€ an hour (GROSS income not even NET) Is pennies. Im working to literally make someone else rich
I gotta switch sides and code some crypto coin to scam people for millions asap and see how its like living like those bosses for once22 -
Why 95%+ devs are bad ???
Just did a recruitement for a post opf Principal Engeneer with possibuility to be CTO.
375 candidats at first interview.
Only 8 remaining for second phase
Our of 8, only 3 managed to complete a small code test.
Outr of 3, one asked for (I shit you not) 700k$ salary (lolz).
Out of 2 remaining, 1 just decided "I did for lolz to see if I get an offer so I can boost my current work salary",
Leaving us with only 1 candidate...
So fucking time consuming.....19 -
Get spammed by some loser on substack and learn how to break the law in 50+ countries! yay!!!!
god
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
i swear i'm going to start a new SaaS equivalent to send your enemies glitter but its called send your substack enemies glitter and it just spams them forever with fake emails4 -
lotta jealous 🤡 trolls on this platform...
funniest thing to me is they think they are so smart they are hiding their trollishness.... but it couldn't be more obvious 😂😂😂😂
bitch, i told you, i am muad'dhib
i see through all
i've even forseen this post and its replys18 -
My work lappy just now invoked an OOMKiller.
Mem[||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||56.7G/62.5G]
*sigh*
`swapon -a` it is then... :(12 -
"Globals? What? I don't do no globals, maaaan"
aham, ok, what's that local dressedup as global there?
"but that's still a local, dude!"
gsus xrist! I'd cry if it wasn't endemic 🤦🏻1 -
I’m running 1.5km every day for two weeks already. Anxiety still strikes sometimes. Depression is measurably better, but it was getting better months ago when I started taking fluvoxamine, so I can’t attribute this to running alone.
Running will help me in another way though: my mental health will definitely be going through the roof when I look in the mirror and see the beautiful, albeit scarred, slender body I posessed before it all started.10 -
Was playing fallout 4 a couple days ago. About 20 minutes in. The computer just shuts off. Like no power at all. I start up the computer again. Try fallout 4 again. It shuts off at the beginning video. WTF... I try Skyrim wondering if video card is busted. Skyrim runs perfectly fine. I startup Fallout 4 again. It runs. WTF...
Next day I try fallout and bout 20 minutes in power off again. Now I am assuming cooling issue and I am trying to see temps with programs. Cannot really tell.
So today I take apart my laptop and vacuum every cooling orifice out. Vacuum any dust looking crap I can see. There was dust in the fans. All clean. I run a memory test for a couple hours. Memory passes (it was brand new memory, thought maybe flaw in ram). Now I run fallout 4. Runs fine, zero issues for about an hour.
Me to myself: CLEAN YOUR DAMN COMPUTER MORE OFTEN! Okay...
In between I read about Fallout 4 causing system reboots and shutdowns due to loading and heating. Apparently something about Fallout 4 causes this more than other games. Wild... Pretty sure it was thermal shutdown protection going on.3 -
How my day went.
Project Manager: We need deliverable X.
Me: That's not listed.
PM: But we need it. Other PM says what you provided isn't enough.
Me: Too bad. I was not told to deliver it.
PM2: We need deliverable X.
Me: Look at the requirements. It is not there. I'm not providing it.
PM2: We need it. Let me ask PM3.
PM3: We need deliverable X.
Me: No. It's not listed. And here's why it's not even applicable.
PM3: Oh....ok4 -
Hey. Can you add excel97 vba capabilities to new office 365 ? I have a 20years old xls file with very complicated macros that i need to run.
And btw, how come a software looses capabilities over time.9 -
There is an easter egg in chrome devtools behind a colorful icon.
I just want to say fuck you to whoever wrote that message10 -
hey guys have you heard of sTate aCtoRs?!?! tHeRe iS a BaCkDoOr BeCaUsE I aM a BaD coDe mAiNtAnEr aNd ApProVe aLL coMmiTs
i'm one of 10,000 ultra-rich fuckwads who lives in the sAnFraNsiScO bAy aReA
its crazy that people earn less than 300K per month!
but i spit around the word "state actor" because i once wrote a for loop that retrieves customer emails from a CSV!
hacker news dumb fucks, all of them
they need to go eat more salad at the meta headquarters
no wonder their jobs are at risk 😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡😂🤡4 -
"this environment is externally managed"
yes, i know it is, please fucking install it
fuck you python and fuck you docker
tools for children
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡7 -
ideal sprint fallacy.
total days 10 , total hours(excluding breaks ) 8 hrs per day= 80 hrs per dev
code freeze day = day 8, testing+ fixing days : 8,9,10. release day : day 10
so ideal dev time = 7days/56 hr
meetings= - 1hr per day => 49 hrs per dev
- 1 day for planning i.e d1 . so dev time left . 6 days 42 hrs.
-----------
all good planning. now here comes the messups
1. last release took some time. so planning could not happen on d1. all devs are waiting. . devtime = 5 days 35 hrs.
2. during planning:
mgr: hey devx what's the status on task 1?
d: i integrated mock apis. if server has made the apis, i will test them .
mgr : server says the apis are done. whats your guestimate for the task completion?
d : max 1-2 hrs?
m : cool. i assign you 4 hrs for this. now what about task 2?
d : task told to me is done and working . however sub mgr mentioned that a new screen will be added. so that will take time
m : no we probably won't be taking the screen. what's your giestimate?
d : a few more testing on existing features. maybe 1-2 hrs ?
m: cool
another 4 hrs for u. what about task 3?
d : <same story>
m : cool. another 4 hrs for u. so a total of 12 hrs out of 35 hrs? you must be relaxed this sprint.
d : yeah i guess.
m cool.
-------
timelines.
d1: wasted i previous sprint
d2 : sprint planning
d3 : 3+ hrs of meetings, apis for task 1 weren't available sub manager randomly decided that yes we can add another screen but didn't discussed. updates on all 3 tasks : no change in status
d4 : same story. dev apis starts failing so testing comes to halt.
d5 : apis for task1 available . task 3 got additional improvement points from mgr out of random. some prod issue happens which takes 4+ hrs. update on tasks : some more work done on task 3, task 1 and 2 remains same.
d6 : task1 apis are different from mocks. additionally 2 apis start breaking and its come to know thatgrs did not explain the task properly. finally after another 3+ hrs of discussion , we come to some conclusions and resolutions
d7 : prod issue again comes. 4+ hrs goes into it . task 2 and 3 are discussed for new screen additiona that can easily take 2+ days to be created . we agree tot ake 1 and drop 2nd task's changes i finish task 2 new screens in 6 hrs , hoping that finally everything will be fine.
d8 : prod issue again comes, and changes are requested in task 2 and 3
day 9 build finally goes to tester
day 10 first few bugs come with approval for some tasks
day 11(day 1 of new sprint) final build with fixes is shared. new bugs (unrelated to tasks. basically new features disguised as bugs) are raised . we reject and release the build.
day 2 sprint planning
mgr : hey dev x, u had only 12 hrs of work in your plate. why did the build got delayed?
🥲🫡5 -
!rant
“Are you drinking my soda?”
“Statute of limitations!”
“Did you know in some countries there’s a statute of limitations on murder?”
“And?”
“And that means sometimes it can run out.”
“And?”
“And that means you can’t be tried for the crime.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“What? No. Why?”
*gestures at soda* “You literally told me that after I took your soda.”
“Oh! Shit. You mentioned statute of limitations, _that_ was the connection, it wasn’t a response to you stealing my soda.”
“You looked me right in the eye and told me that some countries have a statute of limitations on murder.”
“I looked you in the eye because we were having a conversation!”3 -
I've officially entered my 30s.
I ate food the wrong way and my entire left torso hurts.
Yeah .... this is how it starts isn't it20 -
Client: "When can you deliver this feature, so we can move on?"
Me: "Well, by the end of the week could be feasible."
Client: "Perfect!"
Me at the end of the week: "It is finished."
Client: "Thanks!"
Client proceeds to not use the feature for over 3 months.4