Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

!rant
To all the angry devs out there...

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.

Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.

Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF

Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.

Her: What???

Me: #FFF. This is white.

Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.

Me: Ohhh😐

Not me, but a colleague of mine ordered 10,000 pens with <company>.com printed on them - but our company had a .org address.

When technology becomes naughty 🤣🤣

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

Could not resist sharing.
Src: http://commitstrip.com/en/2013/...

My wife asks me how I can stare at a computer screen all day at work, then come home and continue to use a computer for the evening..

I respond that it's 95% of the only light I see all day..

"Siri, is any beer left in the fridge?"

"I don't care, ask your new bit** Alexa! "

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

Hate it when i spend hours upon hours implementing an algorithm/program (in C++ btw) and whenever I show it to someone... They r like
Them: Huh... Spent so much time to display JUST that?!

😭😭

Well... Only programmers understand the amount of time required to get things done...

😂😂😂😂😂😂

When your boss asks you to create an integration for fb but fb is blocked at the office and he refuses to give you access.
#GodWhy #SaveMe

When your coworker appreciates your code saying it's neat and beautiful

>be me
>it student
>working on group project
>one guy is making the ui
>says he added "date selection events"
>check code

Switch(date.Day){
case 1:
break;
case 2:
break;
//To-Do: add other days
}

He did this for years, months, hours and minutes.
He bragged about it.

Fuck you.
Sincerely, fuck you.

I think the most annoying thing of being a programmer is to accidentally press ctrl + s on a browser because of having been saving so much

I seriously can't get why people don't get user experience right my designer just put in two search bars, one in the at the top of the home page and one I the header .... why do you need both 😒

COMMON SENSE PLEASE

When you leave coders to do their own thing
Src:commitstrip.com

damn, devRant made me miss my bus stop again...

that's what I love it for ❤️ 😁

I accidentally washed my headphones along with my clothes last night. One side has lost all bass 😢

On the plus side, they smell amazing.

So I've developed a nice looking website for a client after designs were approved and what not. After seeing it in the flesh, the the client is now trying her hand at redesigning it herself in WORD. I am so done.

Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

The real story: How the Apple was damaged.

My life is complete now

True to life.

"Let's do some pair programming! It will be fun!"

... Fuck no.

Either I start coding and you open a beer, or the other way around. And sure, I do not mind doing each other's code reviews. I respect your feedback.

But I can't look over your shoulder while you misspell keywords. When I write code, I search, try, debug and play at a high speed.

I'm an impressionist/surrealist writing messy passionate functions, breaking lots of things with broad paintbrush strokes before finishing it into detailed perfection. I remember all the places in the code I need to work on, and cover everything with tests.

You're a baroque coder, sometimes even a hyperrealist, with your two-finger 10 wpm typing, writing code strictly line-by-line, decorating every statement with the right checks & typehints in advance. You can not keep two functions in your head at the same time. You write tests reluctantly, but you hate that I barely plan. You plan everything, including your pee breaks.

As a coworker I respect you.

But there is no bigger hell than pair programming with you.

sudo apt-get install car

Source: Twitter

Dear designers/project managers,

I am a developer. That means you don't have to explain simple programming concepts to me that you half know and think you fully understand as if I have never seen code before.

Save your breath and stop being so condescending. You don't know half as much as you think.

Thanks, from one annoyed dev.