Something like that..

return (bool)$result === true ? true : !true;

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."

-- "OK"

"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."

-- "Why? What's the issue?"

"The logic is complex. We should not break it."

-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."

There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.

If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.

If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.

If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.

The horror when you see a 3000 line Java class - services, daos, tasks - everything in one file.

I had a recruiter contact me today, calling me Andrew in the process. Believe it or not my name isn't Andrew, and the email address they sent it to was me@MYFULLNAME.com, so they should be able to get my name right.

I responded to them pointing that out and advising they never contact me again. (In a somewhat sassy way).

In a well crafted apology I was informed that they had a great track record and that mistakes happen. Here's the email's subject line:

RE: Hi.. opportunity in New Haven, CT (Downtown- next to train station)- RUDE DO NOT CONTACT EVER AGAIN

I responded more kindly that I appreciated the apology but the subject line confirmed my position of "not interested."

This was followed up by them trying to "recall" the email, and resend it... Like I didn't notice the insult in the subject line of your apology...

Nicely done, nicely done.

Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Manager: What
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.

"Anything that can be done in GUI is better than in terminal"

Yes it's wrong and stupid. Let Microsoft fans disagree.

After our Head Of Software has terminated.

I started to take control over our development crew. And in this year I did more then the old head in the last 6 years.
- Swapped from plain old SVN to Gitlab.
- Build a complete autonomous deployment with Gitlab.
- Introduced code reviews.
- Started to refactor the legacy product with 500.000 lines of code...
- learned how to use confluent apache kafka and kubernetes to split the legacy project in many small and maintainable one.(not done yet)
- Last 3 weeks I learned how to use elasticstack with kibana and co. That we aren't blind anymore. Big dashboards are now shown in the middle of the room :) and maybe convinced my coworker that we use unity3d for our business application cause of support for all devices and same design on them. And offline capabilities. (Don't know if this was my best idea)
When I look back, I'm proud to did that much in one year alone. And my coworkers are happy too that they have less work with deployments and everything.
But I can't decide what's the title for this. System or Software Architect cause I litterallity did both :/

This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.

Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.

And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.

And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."

We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.

And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.

Just imagine how good a .js tld would sell 😂

Someone: how do I convert cute girls to .gf format ?

Me : Sorry, this feature is not available in the beta version

Hacked a phishing website to phish the domain admin.

The IT Throne 💻😂😂

I FUCKING MADE IT GUYS! I JUST PASSED THE HARDEST COURSE AT UNIVERSITY WHICH IS ABOUT DATA STRUCTURES AND ALGORITHMS! I DRAGGED THIS WITH ME A WHOLE YEAR AND I JUST GOT THE NOTIFICATION THAT I MADE IT. I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY GUYS I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!

Never let little kids play near your laptop RIP dev sticker :(

I was gone for like 10 mins.

Valentine's day

This may sound odd but I find myself more productive when I use linux. The whole environment kind of helps me to concentrate on the work.

Bad news is I always Windows 😞

Normal app: "DEV I NEED THIS, 1 STAR. WITHOUT THIS IS SHIT"
devrant app: "Guys, I've created a client for desktop computer for devrant, tell me if I can upgrade anymore"

Such beautiful community ♥

So... I was watching this ad of this University offering a software course... Can you notice something weird about the code? Hahaha
The subtitles say: "I'm a Programmer"

I was looking for some good loading gifs, and waited more than a minute for these images to load...

This is just my token of appreciation for the Skype devs. Can't begin to say how much I hate it. Your android app is a joke even after a host of updates, your desktop client is an even bigger joke (atleast Linux Beta version, I know betas aren't supposed to be stable but this is ridiculous).

You have reinvented chat clients to be extremely bulky, cumbersome and very hard to sync across devices. And you have managed to make it "buffer" more than a YouTube video does on a 2G network. I for one, am blown over by how you did that. And to top it all, you can't close the client on Linux atleast! All you did is just override the close button so that it only minimises it. Brilliant piece of work right there!

Why the hell can't you just close the client and run it in the background the proper way like everyone else does? Why does it have to take 20 *** seconds to open a message? The only reason I am stuck with this is some wierdos in the office still only use this. Get your shit together 😡

Ahh.. I feel much better now.

‎Nobody needs CSS anyway.

NO. NEVER HAPPENING. For the sake of all the fuckery in the world, I WON'T FUCKING WORK FOR FREE. Not as a learning experience, not for contacts, not for future contracts, not for a fucking blowjob from your wife and not even for a place in heaven. I will be bunkmates with the Devil before I build you your website for free. I feel like strangling a cat with my shoelaces and bashing your brains out with the carcass every damn time your balls swell big enough to ask me to build you a 5 minute website for your well-earning business, you cheap bastard. Take a shovel and dig yourself a hole to sleep in, you piece of biological waste.

I realized this week that my CPU is almost 12 years old!

It's an AMD FX-8150 8core @3.6 (recently overclocked to 4ghz). It's still a good chip for my needs, but eep. I had no idea I bought it that long ago.

I really want to replace it, but that would require a new mobo, too. which I suppose wouldn't be a bad thing...

------

Unpopular onion:
AMD was comparable to (and occasionally better than) Intel before, but now? Ever since they bought ATI, they've just spiraled: virtually everything they've produced has lagged behind.

However: the Ryzen seems to break this trend, so maybe there's hope yet?

I'm happy the announce the official devRant bug/feature suggestion tracker, now on GitHub!

It just went live, and you can find it here: https://github.com/devRant/devRant

Going forward, please use that issue tracker for all bug reports and feature suggestions. We decided to move bugs/features reports to GitHub because we've had a lot of people tell us they'd prefer that method since it makes tracking issues easier, and we also think it will improve searchability and maintainability of current bugs and feature suggestions.

Since we're starting from scratch with it, if there's a bug/feature that you're interested in submitting, and it's not already there, then please go ahead and add it! Even if it's been suggested before in a rant, we want to get them in the GitHub issue tracker, so please add it there too.

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions, and we hope this new method makes it easier to see what bugs we're working on fixing and makes it easier to see and discuss possible new features!

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

After a couple years as a developer I've learned that all those banking sites and cool online stores and apps are held together with old chewed gum, duck tape and that guys who has been in the office 48h straight and whose wife thinks he's dead.

Last weekend I witnessed the most infected computer I have ever seen in my life...

I went on a private party. A girl had her laptop plugged to the speakers to play some music. This thing was literally 99% cancer. The first thing I noticed, when I looked at her opened browser, was that nearly half the screen was taken by toolbars. Also any popular website you could visit had additional ads INJECTED into it. The fist 10 YouTube search results: always porn. No idea how that didn't make her suspicious.

Precisely every 10th click (anywhere not only in the browser) would open up a window with either more ads or an aggressively blinking message saying: "A virus has been detected on your machine. Click here to download our antivirus programm. You have 60 seconds left before your firewall breaks!!!".

Also physically this device was on the edge of completely broken. The power supply had to be taped to the socket because it was so loose. Every little jiggle would immediatly shut the system down and Windows had to be completely reinstalled (which of course didn't solved any of the "software issues").

First I wanted to use that laptop to show some friends a new web project of mine but this thing probably would have DDoSed the shit out of my recently finished work or something.

I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry...

Fucking piece of shit forum won't let me view a fucking jpg file without creating a fucking account. Fuck you.

Being a newbie, I feel like an alien in this fucking programming world.