#1 life lesson learned from coding:
Don't work on projects for the government or any authority EVER!

Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.

My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."

Bye then :)

imagine the guys in the datacenter are switching out power distribution units - and suddenly your productive database cluster reboots :)

memo to myself: do never take government contracts again

Me to my peer: "Yo the code that they sent us works but it sucks and is insecure"
My peer: "Yo that sucks they should definitely change that, go submit a ticket so they change it up, that really sucks!"
Me: *prepares ticket, gets it checked by peer:
My peer: YOoOoO U cAnT tElL tHeM tO cHaNgE oR tElL tHeM hOw tO wRiTe tHeIr CoDe ThAt ThEy DeLiVeR tO uS!1!1!eleven
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classics

imagine you "manage" your applications firewall rules by writing them into spreadsheets and sending them to the fw-admins to implement them

imagine they don't implement exactly what you tell them / implement rules for you that you did not ask for

also imagine it is crucial that you have a reliable source of information about what firewall rules are and are not implemented for your application, because the firewall-guys cant simply check and tell you what rules are implemented for your application

:o

Clock: Friday, 15:45 PM - just go home now, idiot!
My stupid ass: Makes substantial changes to the code I have been working on and breaks it.

I am a stupid monkey that spilled coffee all over his keyboard, and now it seems to be EOL.

Looking for some "inspiration" - what keyboards (and mice, might also just buy a whole new set) are you guys using?

My first experience with a computer was actually sitting on my dad's lap and watching him play world of warcraft - and damn, that hit hard

me: builds a python-script to transport data in .json-format into a config-file written in .xml for a coworker
my boss: "I am glad you have earned yourself a reputation as the 'programmer' in our team"